The truth about marriage
Saw this on a message board. Shits real interesting
:{ what posseses a man to marry a woman, before he is 40? Before marriage, its sex more times than days in a week, its a fun relationship. :hat
but its all down hill from the i do kiss at the altar, which is the first mistake. at this point you could just walk away if you realize the path of misery beyond the opium filled field of being a newly wed.
On your anniversary night, your wife enforces her holding out policy, which sets the trend for the upcoming fiscal year. the sex is 1.5 times a month for the first year. :{ then she tricks you to get her pregnant. you want to stay faithful, but thats almost 1 year w/o sex. :{
this drains you mentally and physically, but not emotionally. You worry if you are making enough money, you work 60+ hrs a week just to stay away from your wife, now you don't love her, you are now negotiating with a woman with WMDs |I
the kid is born. she complains you work all the time and dont help with the baby, or spend time with her (the wife doesnt work, she sits at home). Now, she needs her own "alone" time. :lol She brings the baby to her mother's to her friends', to the mall, while your at work slaving away. but this doesnt count towards her alone time. :{
Now you work less to be home with the baby, changing diapers, etc. while the wife hangs out with her friends. Your resentment to the wife is building up. You have a few lady friends on the side. :hat
Flash foward 2 years. The little runt treats you like a stranger. Your wife has gained weight in the wrong places, :x and continually spends your hard earned money on useless bags, a big SUV, redocorating the house. :x You stay together for the sake of the child. You figure a change of surroundings will change things, so you buy a house you can't really afford in one town over. Wife is happy, she now sleeps with you 4 times in one week, :hat but soon reinstates her holding out policy. :{
Your wife, although having a college degree, refuses to use it, but instead works at a stress free woman's department store.
You've been married for 7 years. somewhere along the line your wife mastered the innerworkings of the divorce court system, hires a lawyer, which you have to pay for. >: you learn thru the divorce process that although you had a prenup, a prenup does not include how many times you can visit your child. >:
You've been extorted for 50% of your assets. :{ The second mistake. Getting your lady friend that you've been seeing on and off for the past several years pregnant, with your first wife still walking the earth. Now your first wife, after learning of your mistress's pregnancy, thru the benevolent court is granted an increase in child support payments. :{
9 months later your mistress spawns the little blood sucker. Now you only keep 20% of your income. Due to the akward circumstances y ou attempt to turn a ho_e into a housewife
You are in your early 30s with the most profitable earning years ahead. But you only keep 20% of it. >: Your first wife got the house. She even had the audacity to remarry. And her new husband, 15 years her senior, drives a porsche 911 turbo. >: >:
10 years later the only reason you stay with your second wife is to avoid another divorce which leaves you finacially ruined. You now "lead a life of quiet desperation."
The following saturday in the mail, you receive an invitation to your young nephew's wedding. :eek The wedding invitation triggers a flashback to when you were a young lad. :
You relive the hopes of future happiness that marriage would bring. a loving, trusting wife, several kids, a house in the burbs, family vacations. You then think, who told you this false dream, who told you this lie? >: >: >: >:
It is your duty to inform your nephew of the lie about marriage, but you don't. :| somehow, in your now warped mind, your silence is compensation for all your years of suffering, you have a sense of fulfillment. :D
:{ And so the process continues, from one generation of men to another. :{
:{ what posseses a man to marry a woman, before he is 40? Before marriage, its sex more times than days in a week, its a fun relationship. :hat
but its all down hill from the i do kiss at the altar, which is the first mistake. at this point you could just walk away if you realize the path of misery beyond the opium filled field of being a newly wed.
On your anniversary night, your wife enforces her holding out policy, which sets the trend for the upcoming fiscal year. the sex is 1.5 times a month for the first year. :{ then she tricks you to get her pregnant. you want to stay faithful, but thats almost 1 year w/o sex. :{
this drains you mentally and physically, but not emotionally. You worry if you are making enough money, you work 60+ hrs a week just to stay away from your wife, now you don't love her, you are now negotiating with a woman with WMDs |I
the kid is born. she complains you work all the time and dont help with the baby, or spend time with her (the wife doesnt work, she sits at home). Now, she needs her own "alone" time. :lol She brings the baby to her mother's to her friends', to the mall, while your at work slaving away. but this doesnt count towards her alone time. :{
Now you work less to be home with the baby, changing diapers, etc. while the wife hangs out with her friends. Your resentment to the wife is building up. You have a few lady friends on the side. :hat
Flash foward 2 years. The little runt treats you like a stranger. Your wife has gained weight in the wrong places, :x and continually spends your hard earned money on useless bags, a big SUV, redocorating the house. :x You stay together for the sake of the child. You figure a change of surroundings will change things, so you buy a house you can't really afford in one town over. Wife is happy, she now sleeps with you 4 times in one week, :hat but soon reinstates her holding out policy. :{
Your wife, although having a college degree, refuses to use it, but instead works at a stress free woman's department store.
You've been married for 7 years. somewhere along the line your wife mastered the innerworkings of the divorce court system, hires a lawyer, which you have to pay for. >: you learn thru the divorce process that although you had a prenup, a prenup does not include how many times you can visit your child. >:
You've been extorted for 50% of your assets. :{ The second mistake. Getting your lady friend that you've been seeing on and off for the past several years pregnant, with your first wife still walking the earth. Now your first wife, after learning of your mistress's pregnancy, thru the benevolent court is granted an increase in child support payments. :{
9 months later your mistress spawns the little blood sucker. Now you only keep 20% of your income. Due to the akward circumstances y ou attempt to turn a ho_e into a housewife
You are in your early 30s with the most profitable earning years ahead. But you only keep 20% of it. >: Your first wife got the house. She even had the audacity to remarry. And her new husband, 15 years her senior, drives a porsche 911 turbo. >: >:
10 years later the only reason you stay with your second wife is to avoid another divorce which leaves you finacially ruined. You now "lead a life of quiet desperation."
The following saturday in the mail, you receive an invitation to your young nephew's wedding. :eek The wedding invitation triggers a flashback to when you were a young lad. :
You relive the hopes of future happiness that marriage would bring. a loving, trusting wife, several kids, a house in the burbs, family vacations. You then think, who told you this false dream, who told you this lie? >: >: >: >:
It is your duty to inform your nephew of the lie about marriage, but you don't. :| somehow, in your now warped mind, your silence is compensation for all your years of suffering, you have a sense of fulfillment. :D
:{ And so the process continues, from one generation of men to another. :{
posted by disasterbation at 5:39 PM
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